I have been blessed. I was fortunate enough that both of my parents remarried well. In fact, I regard both my stepfather and stepmother as true family so much so that I named my son for my stepfather and made my stepmother his godmother. Yet, some doors have remained closed; I do not discuss my father with my stepmother. It seems she reveres him and I cannot undo that with a good conscience. It is not my place.
However, I am now in a predicament. My stepmother has recently joined Facebook. She will in all likelihood discover my blog unless I remove it from my profile. Common sense urges me to do so and yet vanity prevents me for removing it. Vanity? Is that right? Of course, all writers harbor some vanity otherwise they wouldn't submit their work for general consumption. Is that what is really holding me back though? Or is it that I secretly wish I could open her eyes to who my father really was?
Mary Alice was not the other woman. She was a true friend to my father before their relationship became romantic. She is considered a grandmother to my children just as my own mother is. Our own relationship is healthy and loving. Am I willing to jeopardize that? Certainly I have already faced some familial discomfort as my brothers are less than thrilled that I blog.
I want to believe that I cannot be responsible for who my father was... but am I responsible for what I tell the world about him? If it is the truth, should it still be uttered? Should my father be protected because he is not here to offer his side? Am I taking advantage of his death?
Love and pain have always been intertwined for me. If I continue to blog am I foisting the same upon Mary Alice?
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