To emulate a Lady

My Gran will be 88 in September.  Every day she wakes is a gift to me; doctors said she would only live 4 weeks two years ago.  She is battling cancer with dignity and aplomb.  She has never complained or questioned why.  In short, she is conducting this battle as she has conducted herself her entire life - like a lady.

I wondered before I sat to write this piece, does the term Lady still connote something positive?  Or has it become antiquated?  Does anyone want to be a lady anymore?  We are now raised to be independent, which is good, but frequently I hear independent women described as "ballsy".  Would a strong woman in the business world relish the term Lady?

I do.  If I could be half the woman my Gran is, I would be satisfied.  Her grace and humility are pervasive.  She is poised yet approachable.  She is proper but never aloof.  She is careful with her tongue and thoughtful with her gestures.  She is beautiful.

My Gran is the first person I remember loving.  With childish possessiveness, I wanted her love only for myself.  I remember asking her repeatedly who she loved most in the world and being astonished when she kept saying "Grandaddy".  I couldn't fathom that she could love anyone more than she loved me.  Her love was gentle and enfolding.  It enveloped me.  

I can recall with such clarity waiting for her to pick me up from pre-school.  I knew when I saw that big blue cadillac that we would go to McDonald's for lunch.  From there, we would run our errands.  The post office.  The bank.  The bakery for Grandaddy's honey buns.  I didn't need Barbie or My Little Pony.  I was with Gran.  Everything we did was special because we did it together.

When I was older and we had long since moved from Mississippi, I would go down and visit Gran for the summer.  I left my teenage friends, the movies and parties, the kegs and river days, for watching Wheel of Fortune and playing doubles with sixty year olds.  Yet, I never felt I sacrificed anything.  I still felt special just running errands with Gran.

I loved her history, growing up in New Orleans in house where everyone could speak french.  I romanticized her youth but in truth not much because the reality was romantic.  She married young to a man who promised her the moon.  She was 18 and starry eyed.  He was handsome and determined to cut a swath through Mississippi that would land him in money and debt more times than countable.  She stood stoically by.  She raised 4 children while the money flowed and ebbed.  

Throughout her life, she relied upon her church, something that awes me still.  Her devotion is pure and unselfish.  Her faith although always central to her character has never been bandied about.  She has never admonished me for my lack of faith though she will discuss religion readily.  I admire her quiet belief.

Her loyalty to her friends is unparalleled.  She is generous and kind, always available and maintains friendships I probably would've let loose along the wayside.  

She is the epitome of a Lady and I strive everyday to emulate her.