Holding my breath

The breeze washed over me keeping the intense sun from overheating me.  Just past the swaying palm trees, you could see the surf crashing onto the crystalline beach.  I sipped my pina colada and peered up at the deep blue unmarred sky.  Surely something bad was about to happen.

I hold my breath or sometimes I cross my fingers.  I make wishes on eyelashes.  Life seems too good and I am terrified of what must be the repercussions for enjoying it so much.

I have always been an interesting breed; an optimist unsurprised by the worst.  I held hope dear but never blinked when things deteriorated.  I am unaccustomed to so much happiness.  

Perhaps the only time I have ever relaxed and let the happiness wash over me was when I met Tim.  Falling in love with him was so effortless.  Yet, after we married I would wake up early and watch him sleep, marveling that he was still breathing as I was sure that he would be taken from me any minute.

So I walk my tightrope... enjoying my life but always bracing for the fall.