Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas

The ice has glazed the fallen snow.  A quarter moon silvers the ground.  I wrap my arms around myself to brace against the cold and watch as my breath mists into the air.

A week has passed.  The days ebb and flow.  Get up, go on, lay down.  I go forward.  I work.  I play.  I cook, and clean, and fold, and put way, and answer and question and finally close my eyes.  She's gone.  The first Christmas I can remember without her... without her voice, her hands, but not her gifts.  She chose a gift for me.  She chose a gift for me before she died.  A pottery lamb.

Carols ring hollow.  Words fall carelessly.  I operate on automatic.

Its been a beautiful Christmas.  A charming Christmas.  Beautiful gifts, bountiful food, good company... and yet.  And yet.

Merry Christmas Gran.  Wherever you are, the light shines brighter.

1 comment:

Keeping up with the Freitas' said...

Such a hard time to lose someone so important to you... no time is easy but the holidays are just harder. Thinking of you...