Growth

The glint of the sun is still steely... not yet soft and ripe.  And the naked trees stand in stark contrast to the pastel blue sky.  Beneath my boots, I trod upon tufts of green grass bisecting the worn brown from autumn, newly uncovered of snow.  Somehow, magically, Spring has appeared.

There is a hum in the air.  Birds wake early, trilling into the still dark morning.  Jackets are needed to head off to school but carelessly stuffed in backpacks when coming home.  The atmosphere is electric.  Parties and trips and auctions loom in the near future.  We are abuzz with what to wear, how to look, who to see.

The earth has unfolded her long forgotten skirts and the colors which roll out are dazzling.  The deep purple of the crocus, the bloody magenta of the oak tree buds, the vibrant yellow of daffodils.  My son is a foot taller this spring.  His dirty blonde hair is cropped short and his teeth seem too large for his delicate mouth.  Gone is the baby fat from his face and high cheekbones are emerging.  His eyes are still a slate blue.  He is yet a beautiful child but he flops along, all feet and long limbs, an ambling puppy of the largest breed.

Her cheeks are still full but otherwise, Annelise has lengthened out of her baby body.  Her mouse brown hair easily grows lank if not trimmed but she has cerulean eyes and long thick black lashes.  Her beauty is at once petulant and innocent.  Her eyes are round, where Teddy's are almond, and give the appearance of incredulity.  Her mouth is a cherubic bow.  He is perpetually sun kissed whereas she has the pallor of fresh snow.

This spring in, as the outdoors erupts, I am particularly conscious of the growth of my children.  At seven and half and five, they seem worldly when I was sheltered.  Teddy has still never encountered a soul he couldn't charm and Annelise is still more apt to talk to adults than abide a playmate of the same age... but the softness, the roundness.... it is dissipating.

God, those days when I thought I couldn't stand another moment... what would I give to have those back?  Or would I?  Is it enough to have the beautiful photos from the stellar moments or do I wish to relive it all again?

And in the instant that we believe we cannot abide another moment, when we blink, it has changed.  What now do you wish for?