Happy Birthday to Me

I was eighteen.  I had a good grade point average and a boyfriend.  That birthday, I received a Patagonia pullover, which I am actually wearing today, and some books by Anne Tyler.  I remember these gifts made me feel especially appreciated, understood.  I also received a pair of rather matronly Tiffany earrings.  The receipt of that gift left me angry and sad but nonetheless eighteen still remains a standout birthday.

My father believed that a blue Tiffany box retained redemptive powers.  By the time I was 21, my lingerie drawer was full of blue boxes.

It is a truly hollow moment when you receive a gift that you know was not expressly chosen for you.  Tiffany boxes, and their contents of course, are not inexpensive.  Though I tried to express gratitude and not disdain, and certainly I did not want to appear the ingrate, I know my face betrayed me.  Fortunately, and not surprisingly, I never opened any Tiffany boxes in my father's presence.

Since eighteen, I have been fortunate.  I have surrounded myself with people who paid attention, who understood nuances and recognized my likes and dislikes, interests and wishes.  Among notable gifts from my birthdays pasts, a red patent leather purse, a book by Gunter Grass, a gold charm bracelet that belonged to Gran, a package of cheery colorful barettes.  Some of these gifts were expensive, others were handed down, purchased at Target, but all were priceless to me.  Each gift reflected a careful choice, thought and consideration.  Some were items I might have never chosen for myself; perhaps the gift was too luxurious, too precious, too sentimental.  Each is still cherished today.

This birthday, which is tomorrow, I will not have gifts to open.  Both my mother and husband were too excited with their purchases to wait and bestow them on the actual birth date.  Both gifts were personal and greatly appreciated.  Of course, there will not be a blue box from Sandy.  I have received two Tiffany boxes since Sandy's death, though neither on my birthday.  I must admit, I don't have the typical feminine reaction to that robin's egg blue though each of those gifts was well chosen.

My favorite gift though, is the one I have given myself.  I have chosen wisely and cultivated incredible relationships.  I have also blindly stumbled into good fortune which has afforded me love and friendships.  Each card and birthday wish from one of these is a better gift than anything that can be contained in a little blue box.

So Happy Birthday to me; may I have another year to love the people who have blessed me with their friendship.